The Campbell Curse

The Campbell Curse had been evoked. I warned Brian this would happen, but he didn't believe me. If you are blissfully ignorant of the Campbell curse it is because you a.) are not a Campbell b.) did not marry a Campbell or c.) never even knew a Campbell.

The Campbell Curse entails cars breaking down. Often. In the dark. On vacations. And yes, when one Campbell party is sitting aside the road waiting to be rescued, the rescuer will break down. This is known as the "Campbell Curse Special" (CCS).

I have "dabbled" with the Campbell curse over the years. If we have any flat tires, they are always when I'm driving. In the dark, in the rain, on a creepy stretch of road. Brian has had one flat tire our entire 16 years of wedded bliss, the rest have been mine. Mostly though, I considered myself "free" from this curse. Brian faithfully does maintenance, tracks mileage, filters, spark plugs, belts and whatever it is that keeps cars in good running. Our cars aren't very old. And I was free.

Until Brian decided to buy his 1997 Land Rover. A project, he said. Four wheel drive for the snow, he lectured. I knew by the prickle of unease I felt when he spoke of the Land Rover (LR) that buying it would evoke the Campbell curse. Brian was unfazed. "Look," he said, "at all you know because of living through the "Campbell curse". You can jump a car, change a tire in the dark, the rain, and while wearing a skirt. You rescued that poor lady at Target - she certainly didn't have the privilege of growing up with the "Campbell curse". I can see he is taking this lightly, perhaps doesn't believe in the "Campbell curse." My dire warning, pleading, and begging fell on deaf ears. He bought the LR.... and has endured project after project ever since. Mostly just maintenance, and fixing up things that the previous owner had left undone. Jump seats needed to be installed, which needed a welder. Fluids drained and refreshed, bulbs replaced. And a week after buying it? It left me stranded half-in and half-out of the Baker and 21st intersection. "Mom," Rheanna moaned as three guys pushed us off to the side, "this is embarrassing!" While it was an easy fix, (the center differential lock had just slipped out) the prickle of unease became more persistent.

This last Wednesday, Brian decided that enough snow had melted and we should drive the van, to keep it lubed. Also, due to some maintenence the LR was in pieces and undriveable. Is anyone surprised that the van wouldn't start? Classic Campbell Curse Special. Not even after several days of "trouble shooting". The Curse has been evoked.

Brian still doesn't realize the seriousness of The Curse. But then it wasn't his mortally embarrassed high school self that lived through Wheezer, the two-tone green van, that caught on fire and was put out by a "bucket brigade" of kind Taco Bell employees. Has he used flashlights for tail lights? Careened brake less down White's Pass like my brother and dad in a 1946 international truck? (Saved from certain death by the run-away vehicle ramp, a sign, and a tree - after which those of us in Wheezer became stranded and my dad had to hike back up to rescue us) Carried gas in a thirst buster cup? Gotten towed home in the dark... behind a car already pulling a trailer?

At least now we have cell phones.

'til next post.

ei